Confessions of a Mad Woman

I think I've done it this time. I'm not sure what my problem is. I'm not sure what my motivation is. And at times, I am self defeating. Yesterday, my dinner included half a bag of corn chips, half a jar of cheese sauce, a large pile of cookies and some pudding. That's enough to make you sick. And it did. That's right people, I actually vomited. I can't tell you the last time that happened. I think I was a kid. (excluding crazy nights of partying in my twenties)

I knew it wasn't good for me. I knew I was blowing my healthy eating. Yet, I couldn't stop myself. I think I did it on purpose. And maybe it has taught me a lesson. I felt horrible last night! (physically) My stomach was in so much pain. And I'm still a bit unsettled today. Let this be a lesson to me! I don't want to go there again. Not to mention, I am breastfeeding and it can't be any good for the baby.

I fully anticipate a weight gain this week, because of this weekend. I do really well during the week, but I can't get a handle on the weekends. So, I'm back on track today and will try to be positive. But I must tell you, I am a miserable person today!

On a higher note, I am going to check out a gym 5 minutes from my house. Mind you, I already have a contract with a gym near my work (for another 14 mos). But I came to the realization that I HATE that gym! And that's only one of the reason's why I don't go. I'm itching to pick up some free weights. Love me some free weights! I used to tell my husband, "don't tell me I'm beautiful, tell me I'm strong". There's something motivating in pumping iron!